~Wylddane
I call him Big Guy. He is a neighborhood cat that has been around for a few years. He is tough and battle scarred. Lately I have started feeding him. He seems to feel safe when he’s around my home. If I’m outside, on the deck, for instance, he will sit next to me or lay next to my feet. I can’t yet pet him. Here is a picture of him napping on my front porch after eating. He is not fixed and my hope is that someday I will be able to catch him and take him to the vet. One step at a time, eh.
~Wylddane
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For quite a few years now, I have been a student of metaphysics. My first introduction was through Dr. Wayne Dyer's book "Your Erroneous Zones." Then my next step in this journey was through Unity...Rev. Maureen Bass at one of the Unity churches in San Francisco. There is so much I have yet to learn. However, the journey is a good one.
Lately...well the last few days...I have been a wee bit lost in my thinking which has lead to a restless borderline grumpiness. This morning I came across this by Thich Nhat Hanh; and, it was just what I needed. “If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not “washing the dishes to wash the dishes.” What’s more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can’t wash the dishes, the chances are we won’t be able to drink our tea either. While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future—and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh Actually I should say that this snowfall is what I will remember rather than something that I remember from the past.
It started snowing around 10:30am on Sunday. It is now nearly noon on Tuesday and it is still snowing. We have had bouts of freezing rain as well as a few hours of rain during the night which has reduced the volume of snow on the ground. However, my guesstimate is that by now we've received nearly 20" of snow. The snow is supposed to continue until 5pm today. Many, well maybe most, places are closed because of the dangerous driving conditions. It is with deep gratitude that I've hibernated in the wee cottage in the woods during this storm. I've read, watched TV, and napped. Yesterday I finished William Kent Krueger's book "Fox Creek." Now I am reading Steve Berry's book "Atlas Maneuver." It is my thought that this quote best sums up these days of snow: “the comfort of reclusion, the poetry of hibernation” ~Marcel Proust ~Wylddane On this quiet snowy March afternoon I find my thoughts drifting down Memory Lane.
The other day I came across this picture of Tom and I...from a Christmas many years ago. To be honest, I had forgot that I even had this picture so coming across it was a pleasant surprise. I believe it is the only picture that I have of Tom. Tom had an acerbic wit and that is how he got his nickname of Tacky Tom. The nickname had rather humble beginnings that came about because I had three friends with the name Tom. So to differentiate the Tom I might be talking about, I would add a description. Eventually that description would be shortened to one word. "Tom, the Tom that can be kind of tacky at times" became "Tacky Tom." Tacky Tom was one of the first friends I made when I came out as a gay man...and started building a new life with new friends. He'd studied music at the University of Indiana...and when I met him, he was working as an accountant. We kind of had that fit because I had studied history at Bethel University yet I was working in banking. Majors that did not quite translate into our careers. He had a tiny apartment in south Minneapolis way back then. The reason I mention the apartment is one of my memories is of an "after bar party" that he had there one Saturday night. Because Minnesota is very prudish, the bars are only open until 1am. Consequently, when you are young, 1am is the start of the night...and after bar parties were common back then. For instance if you were at the Gay 90s and it was around midnight, rumors would begin to fly through the place about various "after bar parties" and their locations. One Saturday night Tom decided it would be fun to have a party at this place. OMG! It was a wild success...his tiny apartment was so jam packed with people that it was nearly impossible to move! Of course, at that these parties everyone brought their own booze. The drinks flowed, the music was loud, the crowd fun...and Tom was scared that the police would be called and/or he would be evicted. LOL Thankfully neither happened. Another fun memory was of me helping him decorate his Christmas tree at a small (tiny?) house that he was then renting in south Minneapolis. It was a big tree in a small stand in a small living room. We were in the process of hanging ornaments when I realized the tree was starting to fall in my direction. Well, I turned and ran from the room as the tree crashed to the floor behind me...as if it were chasing me. I turned around to view the damage...the tree on the floor, Tom standing there with his mouth open. There was a moment of dead silence before we burst into laughter...tears in our eyes type of laughter. Precious memories. The years flew by and then Tacky Tom and I lost contact. I was living in San Francisco and he remained in Minneapolis. And then the AIDs epidemic hit along with all of its turmoil and we both disappeared from each other. Every time I think of Tacky Tom my heart smiles because of the good memories. Wherever he is, I hope he is doing well...and I sure hope he has not lost that acerbic tongue of his! LOL God bless you Tacky Tom. ~Wylddane Minnesota is the land of 10,000 lakes. Wisconsin probably has 13,000+ lakes from what I've read and many of them are unnamed.
Since I live in the far north part of the state, I am surrounded by lakes. I know the names of many of them and others not so much. Anyhow I took the scenic route to the grocery store (to pick up my 1/2 gallon of milk) and came across this lake. I don't know the name of it. ~Wylddane Let me be very upfront and say that I am not a fan of "Daylight Savings Time." From the first time I experienced it when I was nine years old...until now when I am olde, it does not make sense to me.
As an American Indian once said: "Only a paleface would think that cutting off 2 inches on one end of a blanket and sewing it on to the other end would make it longer." Many of us experience symptoms not unlike jet lag during the first few weeks of Daylight Savings Time (DST). I quote the NIH here: "Circadian rhythms are the physical, mental, and behavioral changes an organism experiences over a 24-hour cycle. Light and dark have the biggest influence on circadian rhythms...Most living things have circadian rhythms, including animals, plants, and microorganisms. In humans, nearly every tissue and organ has its own circadian rhythm, and collectively they are tuned to the daily cycle of day and night. Circadian rhythms influence important functions in the human body, such as: Sleep patterns" Personally, my body tells me that when it is light outside, then it is time to wake up. When it is dark outside, then it is time to go to sleep. So, suddenly, when I am thrust into DST early in the year, it is very dark in the morning and too light too late into the evening...and it only gets worse during the summer as twilight lingers until nearly 10pm. I am trying to wake up in the dark and go to sleep when it is light...and my body clock is not agreeing to any of this! LOL Today I am now on day six of DST driven jet lag. Trust me when I say it is not fun. Over my many years I've tried lots of things to mitigate the effect of DST...and nothing really works. The lesson learned is that it takes time to adjust and in a few weeks I will be mostly ok. As any good metaphysician would tell you, "I can't wait to see the good that will come out of this." Meanwhile, I know that in the fall when we finally return to standard time, my body clock will let out a big sigh of relief and all will be well. ~Wylddane One year ago we were in what seemed to be the winter that would not end. Snow gathered on top of snow. Piles and drifts of snow surrounded our homes like fortress walls. Gazing out the window left one feeling trapped.
This year winter did not happen. Christmas day, which can easily and normally be -20(F) was 54(F) with rain. Temps all winter have run 20 to 30 degrees above normal...and now it seems like spring is arriving early. According to many forecasters this has been the warmest winter recorded. El Nino is one of the culprits; and, global warming only accents the effects of El Nino. Lastly, this has been an extraordinarily dry time too...with little to no snow and little to no rain. It is a dangerous dry time and outdoor fires and strictly forbidden because of the wildfire danger. This olde man is praying for rain...sending positive thoughts into the Universe of rainy days outside filling the lakes and rivers and turning the fields green. ~Wylddane One of my fondest memories is of one of my nieces and nephews and their family is from maybe four or five years ago. It was a snowy evening and in fact the forecast was for a lot of snow so after work my niece and nephew grabbed their kids and headed for here. Our plans were to drink, eat, have a fire in the fireplace, and watch it snow. So the kids were downstairs in the den watching TV (I had the gas fireplace on before they got here so it was cozy down there)...and us adults were upstairs in the kitchen/dining area with a pot of stew cooking on the stove, having cocktails and watching it snow. (The dining room table we were sitting at is in front of a bay window.) The roads had turned slippery and we had a lot of fun and a lot of laughter watching cars miss the corner of Benson & Birch (the corner I live on). They would come up to the intersection too fast, put their brakes on to make the turn and slide straight ahead missing the turn entirely or end up facing the way they came. It was endless entertainment for us adults (I am using the term "adult" loosely. LOL)
“A good life is a collection of happy memories.” ~Denis Waitley ~Wylddane The other day I came across this picture of two people whose threads have enriched the fabric of my life.
Dan (AKA Auntie Vi) was one of the best friends I've ever had. Whenever I think of him, and it is often, I think of laughter and good times. My memories are rich with the companionship we shared. And, of course, Mom...the constant in my life...the anchor of my being. It's a rewarding happiness when two people you care about immensely like each other. As you can tell from the picture, they liked each other. BTW, I had completely forgotten that this picture existed until the other day when I came across it in a old box stuffed with this & that. The minute I pulled it of the box, my heart began to smile. Are we not also the sum of all of our memories? Or, and I quote Alek Wek: "The most beautiful things are not associated with money; they are memories and moments. If you don't celebrate those, they can pass you by." ~Wylddane Grandma Emma and Grandpa John were tough frontier/northern Minnesota people. They had a small farm and on that farm they provided sustenance for themselves as well as six children. Their house was poorly insulated yet kept warm with hot fires in the wood stove. Grandma cooked and baked on a wood stove. My aunts told loving stories...and believe me they were loving stories...of frosty cold bedrooms and scampering down the stairs to the stove heated kitchen. Since they were farm people they raised and canned all of their own produce. The kids that became my aunts and uncles lived well...and felt sheltered and loved by Emma and John. My aunts and uncles were strong people and it is my firm belief that Grandma and Grandpa instilled in them that strength.
Strangely, I remember Grandpa John. The reason I say strangely is that he had died before I was born...yet I remember him. As a child I remember telling my mother about him and her gently responding that it was impossible. Yet I knew him and remembered him. Maybe Grandpa John's and my energies engaged with each other was we both transitioned...he transitioning to the next stage of existence as I was transitioning to my stage of existence on this earth. This thing we call life...this thing we call time...are both so fluid. And I have so many fond memories of Grandma Emma. Also I have a few funny stories that I will talk about on a future posting. The intent today was to post this picture...the only picture I am aware of that is of both of them. In many ways we are the culmination of those that came before us. Their blood runs in our veins. Their lives have been handed down to us by our parents in two ways. First via the character that they instilled in our parents. Second, in the stories and memories that we not only shared with them and about them but also in the stories and memories that have been told to us. Yes, Grandma Emma and Grandpa John, both of you are a strong vibrant thread in the fabric of my life. ~Wylddane |
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